Headed to Hong Kong

Last night we had Papa Johns' for dinner. (Yes, we ordered pizza in China.) We're over the food. We've had some great Chinese food (mostly in Changchun), but here, we've enjoyed checking out the variety of things available. Having pizza delivered and not having to go out in the rainy cold weather was so nice.

Today is our last day in Guangzhou. I'm going to miss the awesome breakfast buffet they have here. I have loved the White Swan Hotel....everything except the beds. I joke that I'm sleeping on a rock. Jim generally likes hard beds, but this is harder than anything we've seen...here or in Vietnam. LOL If I came again, I'd stay at the Victory for half the price and softer beds. (and better playroom for older kids) But, we loved having the experience of the White Swan. The breakfast alone was amazing. (Did I mention that yet?) I wish I had taken a picture.

Right after posting yesterday, Eli woke from his nap and had a wonderful afternoon and evening. I think we've had some breakthroughs with him, though we're still in for some rough times. This morning, as I checked email and the blog, he's tried hard to get my attention with all the wrong methods. Slamming his hand on the computer, turning it off, and yanking the phone off of the hook. But he's learned quickly that it will get him nothing more than a sit in the chair and no attention. He doesn't like that too much. ;) Then, when his behavior has calmed down, we're able to give him the attention he so desperately needs and wants.

This afternoon, we check out and take the train to Hong Kong, after Michael (our guide) picks up Eli's passport with his visa in it. We'll be traveling with the other family here from our agency. Can't wait. We're looking forward to seeing the harbor there. I've heard it is well worth it. For now, we're off to do some last minute shopping and walking around the island.

The huge mall we found with the awesome restaurant...see the Gymboree in back? Sadly, I didn't have time to look. LOL

A Journey of Faith

We're plugging along here in Guangzhou. I've had little time to blog, honestly, because we've tried to stay out of the hotel room and keep busy, both for our sake, and for Eli's.

The reality is that we are finding ourselves in prayer more than we could have ever imagined. I wasn't even sure what to blog, which is why the posts from Guangzhou have been sparse. I decided to be honest.

We've been having some good times once we arrived here, but this is definitely one of the hardest things we've ever done. Some of our prayers were answered when we met up with the other couple from our agency who are here at the same time, adopting a four year old as well. They share our faith, and the conversations we've had have been helpful for us. We've enjoyed their company more than we can put into words.

The hard work with Eli has started, here in Guangzhou, once we could establish that we were now his parents and he was not returning to the center. I was once told that kids often handle the initial shock of adoption one of two ways - they shut down or they fight for their lives. (Not all kids do this, but many do, even if it is subtle.) Norah was a kid who shut down. We didn't see her true personality until close to the time to leave Vietnam. Eli is clearly fighting for his life. He's made it clear that he doesn't want me to replace the nannies, and he's attaching much more quickly to his dad. That's okay, and not unexpected.

As we make our way through this, we realize that some of what we're experiencing with him comes simply from the upheaval in his life. Some comes from having few boundaries or consequences. We've been hit, kicked, spit on, and had things thrown at us. I'm happy to say that all of these behaviors have diminished greatly already. The first few days were horribly exhausting, but he's already accepting no and learning that we mean what we say. For instance, just now, he climbed up on my lap and pointed at the computer. I told him no, and he got down and moved on. The first few days, that would have been him grabbing the computer anyway, smacking me as I told him no, and him throwing anything he could find near the computer to the ground.

Anyway...enough of the tough stuff. We've had a lot of good moments too, and I don't want the hard times to completely overshadow the good.

We went yesterday to have his TB test read. (It was fine.) Today we stood in the US Consulate and held up our hands and took an oath. Everything is nearly finished now....we are only waiting for our guide to pick up Eli's passport with his visa tomorrow afternoon. We are hoping to leave GZ a day early and head to Hong Kong (where we will fly out of) so that we can do some sightseeing with the other family we are here with. The consulate just changed some of their procedures and we now are faced with being able to leave a day earlier. Rather than change our flight, the day in Hong Kong sounded like fun.

Yesterday and today we had a lot of fun just exploring on our own with the other family....we've taken the subway and headed to some tourist destinations, but we also found a hidden mall where the locals clearly shopped. (Things were dirt cheap.) Today we wound up at a mall and had the best meal ever, for about 10 USD per person. (It was a five course meal, complete with salad, soup, dinner, and dessert. I don't think I'll eat tonight.)

Some pictures from today and yesterday:

Hey, cold stuff isn't so bad! McDonald's ice cream is pretty good. After all, he likes the "Kentucky Chicken." Why not McDonald's?

At the Chen Clan Academy. Beautiful place in the midst of the city.

Oh yes he did. He found one even in China.

Pictures from Guangzhou

My boy with his favorite snack, which happens to be what he ate for lunch today as he refused all other food


Yes, we got his hair cut at the White Swan as we figured it would be easier with someone talking to him in Chinese


Mommy (aka Hello Mama) and Eli out for a walk


Pretty scenary in the White Swan Hotel


Teaching him to climb stairs, which he wants to do over and over and over


a picture from his medical appointment (man, that place was crazy!)


walking halls, trying to wear him out


Finally!! Guangzhou!!

We've arrived in Ghangzhou!!

It's like we're in a whole new world. Changchun was nice, and it was a wonderful experience to see the center and meet Hannah. While I was sad to leave his province and everything he knew, I am SO thankful to be here. 70 degree weather, a five star hotel (the White Swan is beeeeautiful), and somehow, a total change in Eli. There's even a deli just outside the door of the hotel. I just finished an entire lunch that did not include rice or noodles. Heaven. (I actually really enjoy eating food from other cultures, but after a week of rice and noodles and some really bad chicken nuggets, a sandwich on some yummy bread with a COLD sprite was really like the best thing ever.)

About the change in Eli...I think Jim and I are both really hesitant to even discuss it, for fear that it might change at any time. Clearly, there are going to be rough times ahead, but once we got off of the plane, it was like a whole new kid. He's showing us affection, calling us mama and baba or daddy, and allowing us to touch him and do things for him that he fought against since the visit to the center.

It was like he did his grieving mid-week and once we left Changchun and stepped off the plane, a whole new kid emerged. He's still testing us....a lot, but he is listening to us tell him no and accepting no without the constant hitting or fits we saw before.

Right now I'm enjoying watching him look in the mirror and talk to himself. LOL

Also (Jane, Dick, and Cheryl - if you are reading this, you'll appreciate this story), Eli calls me "hello mama." Apparently this was his name for an American volunteer that visited the center last summer. He told the nannies prior to us coming that his American mom was going to put him in time out like hello mama did. This is part of the reason he's been wary of me, according to the nannies. Unfortunately for him, he's probably right. I see time outs in our future. ;) But for now, things are getting better and there isn't much need while we are here. We also invested in an umbrella stroller, and honestly....I'd have paid 50 bucks for that thing for the amount of headache it has already saved us. Lesson learned.

For those who have asked, Jim and I are doing fine. We've been up and down a lot, feeling overwhelmed at times, and then feeling like things were fine. We watch some of the families with babies, ages 2 and under, and realize that our experience this time around is a whole different experience. But, you know....I think that's just what God had in mind.

The Hospital Visit

When Eli was just a few months old, he had his surgery for his meningocele. Hannah set it up so that we could visit and so that the doctors and nurses could see him one more time. After the night before, he was really excited to see Hannah and wanted little to do with us. ;)

The doctors and nurses were wonderful and posed for pictures that we promised to forward to them. After we were through at the hospital, we went back to Hannah's place for lunch and also got to meet her husband, who happens to be the pediatrician that performs the check ups on the babies at the center. We had a great time...meeting them both was something we'll remember forever. This morning, the student that has been helping us out brought us to the airport for our flight to Ghangzhou. Hannah thought it might be best if Eli didn't see her again as he is attached to her and grieves each time he leaves her.

The afternoon after we left Hannah's place was another rough one as he woke from his nap to find that he was alone again with us. However, we've just arrived in Ghangzhou, and what a difference. I'm going to finish this post as our guide is meeting us here soon, but I will try and post later about the day.

(Sticky fingers got a hold of the camera again. Haze on the lens.)

Visit to the Center: Part 2

Our visit to the center was very emotional, to say the least. Not only were we in such a wonderful place...this was where Eli spent the first four years of his life. We also knew that leaving was going to be very difficult, both for Eli and for the nannies. Up until the visit, he really hadn't cried much (other than getting hurt) because we continued to see Hannah every day and he didn't seem to realize that he wasn't returning.

After the nannies fixed us a (wonderful) local lunch with pita type pockets filled with meat, sauce, and vegetables, we got together for a group picture and then got ready to leave. The nannies gave us many things....a hard board book that they had made with Eli's pictures in it, a professional looking picture that was made not too long ago, his baby records, books and markers that he uses, and several other things. It was clear that they loved him as they told us his favorite things to eat, when he slept, how he slept and many other details. They had him show us things they had taught him (and he is one smart kiddo), had him count to 10 in chinese and to 4 in english, and showed us how they taught him to jump.

We left after several pictures and one of the nannies carried him to the car. When she turned to put him in, I realized she was crying and any effort I made to control it fell apart. He cried for the first time as well and has since told Hannah that he misses that nanny. He says that he is her (the nanny's) son.

Last night, when Hannah left us, he cried more. He was okay in the room for a while and then brought us his coat and shoes and hat. When we told him no, he eventually cried himself to sleep, calling for the nannies. Even though I knew that things would be tough and this would likely happen, it is a whole different ball game when you are dealing with the reality of it. It is heartbreaking.

Today we visited the hospital where he had his surgery and had lunch at Hannah's place. That will have to be another post in itself.....later, when I get another chance to be on the computer.

Eli's bed where he slept (holding a pillow I sent for him)

the entire group of us

Eli with a buddy in the kitchen, waiting for lunch to be served to the adults

This is the nanny whom he calls out for the most.

Visit to the Center: Part 1

Eli woke up yesterday morning and was thrilled to be getting his coat on to meet our guide, Hannah, to head to the center. (If I haven't said it before, Hannah is also the woman who runs the center. She is not there everyday, but frequently, and the kids know and love her.)

Driving here is crazy compared to what we are used to and yet different from Vietnam. (which was even crazier, if you can believe it) Here, it is mostly cars where in VN, it was mostly mopeds. At least with the mopeds, you can only go so fast. Here, the cars will run you over if you aren't careful. You cross the street following the people and play your own sort of Frogger. I've seen walk/don't walk lights....I can't figure out what purpose they really serve.

So, on the way to the center, we stopped to check on Eli's passport. Not ready. This put us behind to start and then we encountered a truck that had lost it's load of rocks on the way. However, the cars all just kind of went around it. Forget that there is a center lane in the roads. At any given time, any car can decide to go around the one in front of them and go past the center lane. So when we got to the problem truck, there were cars everywhere kind of blocking each other. Our lane of cars just simply went offroading and drove in the mud and rocks on the side of the road until it was clear again. It was an experience.

When we got to the center, there was a lot to do, so I was running between loving on kids, making sure all of the gifts, clothes and blankets were delivered, and snapping pictures while Jim had kids crawling all over him. Those of you who know him from the neighborhood know that is just typical for him. We call him the pied piper. LOL The center is the kind of place, though, where I feel right at home. I'm a special education teacher by trade anyway and the last place I worked reminded me a little of this place due to some of the physical challenges of the kids.

(Some of the pictures did not turn out all that crisp....the older kids are fascinated by cameras and cell phones and I realized later that a little one had put his fingerprints on my lens. Oh well...not a big deal.)

The Pied Piper of Children

Clothes, clothes, and more clothes! The nannies say "thank you thank you" Kathy and Scott!!

A little one wearing one of the hats that was made by a church near IAAP (the fundraising agency for this center...there were many great quilts too) According to Hannah, this one needs a family!! Any takers? He's a cutie and seems to be doing well!!