slowing down the pace

Yesterday was one of those days.

More of a race than a day off.

More arguing than playing.

More crying than laughing.

Sometimes, on these days, I stop and wonder what is wrong. How I will ever add another child to this family and make it all work. I sat down to pray. This morning, two messages appeared in my email inbox, an answer to my overwhelmed prayer.

The first was from the ScreamFree Institute.

The second was from this blog, Indie Tutes via a friend's facebook page.

The laundry, well, it will have to be done. The bills paid, the children fed. It all must be done. But there is no prize for having the dishes done the same day they were dirtied, or having homemade cookies instead of store bought, or having the toys separated into colour coded baskets. -Indie Tutes

Amen.

asking for prayer

Things continue to move along with the adoption as expected. (Well, besides me realizing that I left our entire dossier at the local post office a few days ago. Finding out that it was there and still in one piece was most definitely an answered prayer.)

However, we've hit a small stumbling block. Cash flow is proving to be a problem. While I'd prefer not to go into personal details like this here on my blog, we have access to some of the money we will need to complete the adoption, but not all of it. While we try and sort through how we will come up with the remaining money at the end, we are asking for prayer to help us make some decisions or to be patient as God shows us what He wants us to do.

We recently found out that Eli can be part of the Shepherd's Crook Ministries, which is exciting! They will help us do some fundraising as well as pray with us during the journey...something that brings us much comfort. We are also anxiously awaiting the completion of our home study report, which will allow us to apply for adoption grants available for "hard to place" children. Eli qualifies due to his special needs.

Regardless, we both feel strongly that this is something we were called to do, and we know that somehow, the money will be found. In the meantime, prayers are welcomed. :)

New Pictures

I haven't had much blog time recently...most of my time has been devoted to running around and getting the necessary paperwork finished in the shortest amount of time possible. :) We are also working hard on our house, changing the rooms around so that the girls can share and Eli can be next to our room.

I received several emails full of pictures of Eli recently and thought I would share. We have been so blessed with his adoption so far. He has lived in a foster care center since he was a tiny baby, and the nannies there clearly love the children and work hard to do the very best for them. We realize that there are going to be some bumps along the way and that his transition to our family is likely going to be more challenging than Norah's, but we are so ready to bring him home!

blissfully unaware

There are times that I still long for the days when I was blissfully unaware. Unaware the differences between a mic-key and an amt mini. Unaware of how melatonin works (or why it doesn't sometimes). Unaware that syringes made great bath toys. And so on. You get the idea.

I fully realize that part of my journey included becoming MORE aware, not less, and that clearly, the path that God has me on does not include naivety or ignorance.

I was reminded of this again the other day while at an activity for one of my girls. During the activity, I have only one girl to attend to. I find myself very relaxed, carefree even. However, while we were there, I noticed another child that was a part of what we were doing. Suddenly, my heart sank, and my stomach was in knots. Because it was clear to me that this other child had a little something more. Pre-diagnosis, I'm sure....this child's mother was clearly struggling. She remarked how she was always tired, and how her child never stopped. You could feel her embarrassment when her child wouldn't listen, despite her best efforts.

Bah. I hate being aware sometimes. I wanted to hug her, to tell her that she wasn't a bad parent, and that, in the end, everything would be okay. But she doesn't yet know about this journey; about the road she's going to travel. So, for now, I play with my daughter and watch from the sidelines.

Because sometimes the best I can do is to pretend to be unaware.

dossier pictures

We have to include some pictures in our dossier. Here are a couple of the cuter ones:

I found them this way, watching TV. Aren't they sweet???

I have a hard time believing there will be four before long! :)

details, details

I wanted to take a minute and answer some questions we've been asked:

What is his special need? He was born with a meningocele, a neural tube defect. It was repaired when he was a young baby, and he's doing very well now. He just learned to walk at age 3, but is talking and trying to potty train.

How old is he? He's 3. He and Norah share the exact same birthday, except that he is one year older than she is.

How long will this process take? The timeline looks to be about 6-8 months.

Isn't adopting a boy from China rare? No, not if you are looking at special needs. Many of the healthy children adopted are girls still, but the special need lists are full of boys waiting for homes. For a variety of reasons, the boys sit on these lists for a very long time, even when there are both girls and boys on the waiting lists. Girls are still generally chosen first.

What will it cost? Honestly, though sometimes stressful, this doesn't matter much. We believe that God will provide for us and we've never been disappointed before. I decided to edit here and take out the real cost. You can always find out on the internet. :)

One other thing.....we realize this type of journey is not for everyone. Three years ago, when we began Norah's adoption, it wasn't for us, either. We actually started in the "healthy as possible" child line and asked for a girl. We later decided that we wanted to switch to a special needs adoption. Norah was originally suspected of having a condition that would affect her right arm and possibly her heart. Turns out that she has just a birthmark.

This time around, we knew if we planned to adopt again, it would be a child that was considered "hard to place". Even a year ago, however, I could not have handled this with Will's needs. It is all part of our journey.

So, here it is....Eli's story begins. We can't wait for him to come home.

have you seen this?

Kisses From Katie

It is a blog, written by a girl who is over 10 years younger than I. Amazing. Inspiring.